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  Chapter 1 Chapter 5 Chapter 9  
Narrated by H-Diggy
  Chapter 2 Chapter 6 Chapter 10  
  Chapter 3 Chapter 7 Chapter 11  
  Chapter 4 Chapter 8 Chapter 12 Chapter 13

1 - Life knowledge, madness, fun - 1

      What the hell is Funk Theory?

      The first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word funk is music, and that is about to change.  This book is being written in a form that may not have been experienced by all readers.  A form without boundaries or limitations.  In other words, how ever the fuck I want.  It takes a little from all styles of writing and forms a book out of conversation ideas.  How we talk is how the book reads.  But not necessarily how everyone talks mind you…  How one acts is how the books flows, while explaining methods to reach new levels of funk and life.  This method may not exactly be yours but hey it works for me and could work for you. Good luck and if it doesn’t fly with you, you got a damn cool slang dictionary in a bunch of different languages (in the non­abridged version).


      And why it is a theory and not a philosophy.  

      It is waiting for proof, funk that is. The proof is out there but has yet to surface its funky head.  Until now.  Funk is theory waiting to see if it has the legs to become philosophy.  When we finish, we shall see if it is simply a theory, just fucking around or a reason for something unknown.  We are experimenting, forming a mental hypothesis, a mind fucking if you will, on the ins and outs of funk.  In other words, is funky life where its at.  

      Funk, with excitement, is the topic in question.

      What the funk is it?

      Just think of hip­hop and what makes up hip­hop. Its a combination of aspects of similar feel that combine to form something larger, a way of life.  Their are dj’s, mc’s, graffiti, and breakdancing, all which embrace many facets of a certain style at one time.  The thing to realize is how these forms represent a piece in funk culture. Yes I know this is a mouthful but simply put, hip­hop is a culture with many ways to express yo’self.  A culture born with creativity.  And once fun and creativity cease to exist so does the real essence of hip­hop.  Hip­hop in the mind of the funk theory encompasses more than just its elements.  If you practice the elements described you become the hip in the hop.  Your life transforms and mind expands.  Everything that you would grace with your presence outside the hip­hop world would be sauced up by your love for the unique in turn making it unique.

      “And for fuck’s sake we need more thinking like that,” says Walter Ego, aka. The Interupter.

      You can always hear in the background of this conversation, my homey Big Papa Pump sprayin “Hip­hop, son, is a way of life. Bam! Summed up fo ya.”  

      Coming back to explaining funk,, if you see how hip­hop has its elements as does funk theory.  The funk theory will not only explain the elements of funk but also ideas and methods in practicing the funk.  Eventually the funk may become part of something larger and wilder.


      Does Funk have meaning beyond its surface?  Let’s see for a hot second,

      Thesaurus  12/1Ñ funk:;ha!;

      Funk is: cool, stankers, nice, dope, gross, jive, mint, aight, booty, banging, biddies, real, saucy, spicy, tight, crispy, extravaganza, cool, tight, phat, nice, creamy, aight,  

      and sometimes one word may not suffice. In this case we break out the 3 b’s.

           What are the three b’s?  It began with Big Gene Stud and his followers, on one of their many philosophical bus journeys to the beach.  What was discovered after listening to Bob Marley’s “Natural Mystic” for the upteenth time was a grouping of three words that proved to be an undyingly true way to live ones life in the light of cool.  And for some uncanny reason each word begun with the letter b.


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Simple enough the writer of this book, essay whatever you may call it has one purpose. That is unification under a common principle, happiness, creativity and living to the fullest.

All work has been published and is copywright © 2004-2009 by Htronic LLC - permission of use can be granted.

Contact the writer here, he wants you to quote this stuff.